However, let each man love his wife as he loves himself; and let the wife see that she respects her husband. Ephesians 5v33

Ok ladies, I’m sure we’ve all been there, the moment you’ve been waiting for…the L word. When will he say it? Will he ever say it? Or maybe he said it too quickly…

Let’s face it, men are not really that vocal when it comes to their feelings. This may cause a woman to question ‘Does he truly love me?’ Or maybe you know your boyfriend/Husband really well and never have to second guess his love, in that case you probably don’t need to read this. I have spoken to a number of men; colleagues, friends and family, asking them some of the ways that they show love to woman  without saying or before they’ve actually said ‘I love you’ and I have complied their answers into 10 sure ways you can tell a man loves you. I just want to say a big thank you to all the men that contributed to this post, I couldn’t have done it without you. Hope you enjoy!

1) He Gives.                                                                                                                                                    

I made this number one because this one came up trumps, everyman I spoke to said that he will give of his time/money/self to the woman he loves. He will spend his money and give gifts. He suprises you with a weekend getaway! He will spend time with you…I’m talking about peak times, like the weekend when he’s usually with his boys. He will give you himself…exclusively! 100% undivided attention. I guess actions really do speak louder than words.

2) He listens to you.                                                                                                                                    

 I don’t just mean nodding in agreement here or being a yes man! But he actively picks up on the little things you like and goes out of his way to please you. For example, you may be a really tidy person and he’s messy but you’ve expressed to him that you hate mess, he will ensure when you come home from work he tidies up…or you told him you like strawberry milkshake so he picks one up on his way home…or you said your not a morning person so he tiptoes around in the morning…or he heard you say you don’t like onions to the waitress at the last restaurant you went to so he orders your food without it at the next restaurant. A friend of mine says it best, he said  he will “Speak to her about herself and listen to how her day went -Mon-Fri” that is dedication because he’s been married for nearly 10 years. But it gets better he also said that he “Respects her opinion by listening to what she says (although a little hard)”. Awww its just the little things…the sentimental things in life (*singing So Solid).

3) He’s protective.

Not just physically but emotionally. He wont allow anyone to disrespect you…family or friends. He’s always looking out for you, even down to making sure you don’t step in any mess on the street! haha

4) He encourages you.                                                                                                                                He is your biggest fan. He genuinely wants you to succeed. He is not threatened by your success, infact he is supportive of all your endeavours. Even if you make more money than him (a big topic which needs its own post) he is secure in himself and doesn’t feel diminished by that and continues to allow your light to shine.  A good friend of mine says he will “Encourage and praise her in whatever she wants to do”.

5) He tells you the truth.                                                                                                                          

No matter how much it hurts he will be open and honest. He leaves no room for suspicion or worry on your part. He lets you know where he is or where he’s going to be and its really not a big deal. You can access him all the time and if you can’t he calls when he is available. The key here is that you have peace of mind when you are apart because he has cultivated that through his behaviour.

6) He allows himself to be influenced by you.                                                                                 They say that the best relationships are growth orientated. Is there any value added to your life as a result of being with that person? For example you may eat really healthy and your other half may be a junk food junkie but after being with him for a while all of a sudden he’s picking up a bottle of water, or there’s more fruits and vegetables in his fridge. A more frivolous example would be, you like watching ‘Desperate Housewives’ and at first he called it “nonsense”…next thing you know he’s asking ‘when’s the next episode coming out’? You’ve definitely won a space in his heart if this is happening.

7) He is quick to forgive you.                                                                                                                   You know that things will not always be a bed of roses and things can get a lil Cray Cray! When I say things…I mean you! Maybe I’m speaking for myself here but I do tend to go 0-100 real quick, and then cool down and everything’s ok again, leaving Mr man thinking…’HUH’! But if he’s still willing to ride the crazy bus with you, he’s a keeper. Susan Roher says “Do not accept a mans proposal until you have successfully worked through at least one significant disagreement, better yet a heated argument that leaves one (preferably both) in tears…If you’ve never been in the thick of serious conflict resolution with that man you don’t really know him”. You will have disagreements even the bible says so but it’s how you do you deal with it that counts. I like this simple scripture from Proverbs 15V1 ‘A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger’.

8) He will keep his word.                                                                                                                          

He means what he says and says what he means. He is not frivolous with words. If he tells you he’s going to do something and he does, that is golden. You will always trust and have respect for him. Most men like to be respected more than loved and if he gets this from his woman he will feel on top of the world. There’s nothing worse for a man than being disrespected in the world or in the workplace…the last place he wants to feel that would be the home. The home should be the safe haven for him to come and nurse his wounds from the everyday battle of life.”Wives submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the lord” (Ephesians 5v22) Some women have a problem with this but I think its just they don’t want to submit to someone they can’t respect. So ladies if you find a man that keeps his promises cherish him!

9) He cares about your well being.                                                                                                      

This one kinda goes hand in hand with listening and giving but they are more likely expressed during the honeymoon period. When you’re in it for the long haul its all about ‘going the extra mile’, it’s about doing what isn’t always asked of you. What does that mean? Here’s a sample of some of the things the men I spoke to said:

 

Mr J.W said “Making her a hot cup of tea and toast EVERYDAY…calling her EVERYDAY at work or sending a text message if unable to call…nurse her when she’s sick…respect her feelings about people or situations and never pressure her to do anything she doesn’t want to do…pray for her…protect her…cook, clean and do my part with our son…make a big effort on her birthday…look out for her sister who sometimes needs manly duties done”

Mr B said its “Making sure she is ok (communication), picking her up and dropping her to work, observing all the important holidays including birthdays and mothers day, making sure bills are paid”.

Mr R.A said “Doing housework before she returns home from work and preparing her favourite meal”.

Mr D.F  said “Getting her gifts, always going out of my way for her, being caring”.

A colleague and friend of mine said “Helping her learn another language, cooking and washing up for her…”

Another old friend of mine said “Talking in a calm way when she’s angry…you can show her love by talking about inner feelings, its the little things that matter and it depends on each couple, everyone has different feelings and experiences, things they like and don’t like and its about identifying them and taking them into account”.

10) He trusts you with his secrets!                                                                                                        

If a man can trust you his inner most secrets you’ve earned a special place in his heart.

So there you have it, 10 ways to tell if a man loves you. Obviously this list is not exhaustive and if your man has not done any of the above it doesn’t mean he doesn’t love you, maybe his love language is different, in which case you should check out my last post ‘What is your love language?’. However I’m pretty sure the 10 signs above encompass one if not all the love languages! Be sure to leave your comments below agreeing or disagreeing I’m always willing to learn more. Also check out this video just incase you want to hear it from a mans lips. Until then…keep up the love walk.