I’ll start by saying…put some respeck on yourselves people. How many of you value what is inside a persons head and heart rather than their body? Don’t get me wrong I think attraction is very important, it is the catalyst that allows a relationship to even begin in the first place. How many of you have been really attracted to someone and then they opened their mouth and you were disappointed? I know I have. Communication is how I decipher who a person is. I enjoy conversations because I can get to know what is truly in a persons heart. From one thirty minute conversation, I can tell whether you are kind, cruel, smart, stupid, a lover or a hater…”For out of the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaks” (Luke 6:45).
I do believe however that people need to practice the art of discernment because it not always what is said, but how it is said. What is the spirit behind it. Compliments pass over my head like clouds, obviously I hear what they say and I may take it on board, but I never get drunk off of the good things people say about me. Why? because the people who shout ‘Hosanna’ today could say ‘crucify him (or her)’ tomorrow. We live in a world where image is everything, last week I briefly spoke about people reducing their worth to likes on social media sites. It is easy to get caught up, I’m not gonna lie, I just wish that there were more people in the world who valued truth and righteousness. I wish people took the time out to figure out what type of person you are dealing with before rushing head first into a relationship. If we took the time to figure out what is IN a persons heart it would actually save a lot of heartache.
You can do that through initial conversation but also don’t ignore your intuition. We have been given feelings for a reason and although we like to dismiss them and say we shouldn’t be caught up in our feelings, there should be a fine balancing act between the words people say and your initial feeling about that person. Too often we listen to the words and dismiss our feelings. We could hear a man or woman say ”I love you” but deep down you feel they don’t. Don’t ignore the feeling. The truth of who you are won’t just be seen but felt.
I am all for taking pride in the way you look and looking after yourself but that shouldn’t be the only focus. The ancients believed in mind over body through the iconic statue that still stands in Egypt today. The Sphinx is symbolic of the head ruling over your animalistic nature. I love reading books and love other people that do too. Spend time cultivating your mind. Have something to talk about with the person you love because looks fade but your essence is forever. Let people fall in love with your essence which is the real you. If you allow people to value you for your body and then you give that value (your body) away, chances are they will move onto the next. However experiences can never be forgotten and even if the relationship is brief, the experience they had with you will not be easily blotted out of their memory. I love the song by R. Kelly “She’s got that vibe” because I think it embodies what I’m trying to say here, sometimes you can’t put your finger on it but you know that a particular person has just got that vibe. Well all I’m saying is that your vibe is your essence and in the words of Ralph Smart “Your vibe attracts your tribe”.
piecesofme2016 
My Christianity is one that has this unwritten rule: “women should be seen but not heard” – it’s a soft rule, but it basically means that men should be smarter than women on spiritual matters. Now me, I’m all for a great debate – being a devil’s advocate by nature – but I know that there’s a time and place for such matters and the church usually isn’t one of them as they don’t like dissenting opinions.)
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LOL Jamie, I’m sure the original saying was “Children should be seen and not heard” why are you now applying this to women?
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It was in the Bible first:
“A woman should learn in quietness and full submission. I do not permit a woman to teach or to assume authority over a man; she must be quiet.” – 1 Timothy 2:11-12
“Women should remain silent in the churches. They are not allowed to speak, but must be in submission, as the law says.” – 1 Corinthians 14:34
Or are you saying the Bible is wrong?
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The bible also says that women should cover their heads (1 COR 11:6) they don’t. The bible also says that you should submit one to another (EPH 5:21) why is that never highlighted?
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http://www.headcoveringmovement.com/
These Christians do.
My pastor always said that Eph 5:21 was a “when in church” scenario, otherwise, it never overrides the duty of a wife to submit to her husband in everything. He always gets the tie-breaking vote and the last word on all decisions that a couple makes together.
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This is the reason why I don’t go to church because people interpret the bible differently and then you get confusion. The verse regarding the covering of he head talks about doing that when ‘praying or prophesying’, how can it only refer to church, do women only pray and prophesy in church? Paul the same guy who said the above also said ‘Submit one to another out of reverence for Christ’ and yes it does say that the man is the head ect but my post isn’t about who is the head. My post is about appreciating what is in another persons heart and mind and not just the outer appearance. Im sure there’s plenty of scriptures for that too, here’s one “For the Lord see not as man see, man looks at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart” 1 SAM 16:7.
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Right – and dating in the church is like playing a card game where no two players have been taught to use the same exact rules. Your rule is to be respectful and see beyond the exterior – many have been given the rule to be quiet. On Downton Abbey, the grandmother said: “Of course you’re allowed to have opinions … as soon as your husband tells you what they are!” Her rule was that a wife’s duty was to champion her husband and to be unassuming herself. Christianity has really gotten crazy about dating over the last few decades anyway – especially for those who wound up in pro-courtship churches.
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This was such a good read. We really need to see way more than physical apperances…what are your ideas? How do you see the future? What are your motivation? What do you keep in your heart? etc etc. Thanks for this.
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Thanks Sammy, yes we should see way more than physical appearence.
What are my Ideas? Just to use your natural God given talents (such as intuition and discernment as well as patience) before your rush into a relationship.
How do I see the future? You can’t really see the future unless again you have the gift of dreams or prophesying of some kind.
What is my motivation? My love for people and my agitation over the state of relationships between males and females.
What do I keep in my heart? Secrets and Treasures. 🙂
Hope that answers your questions, I’m not sure if I answered them correctly. How about you? What are your thoughts on this subject?
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I love the fact you answered those questions even though I was meaning those are the type of questions we need to ask people who are trying o get serious with us when we meet them.
We honestly share the same views and answers and I simply wanna use my talents for the glory of God, serve Him the best I can, work hard and let Him handle the rest. My motivations are love for people and the zeal to be better. Only God knows the future so He holds all the answers. I keep love, compassion and some deep thoughts secrets only me know about in my heart.
This was a great experience. Thanks for replying😘
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