I’m not looking for the perfect man. I’m looking for the man whose imperfections I can put up with – Devon Ashley
Why are the majority of black women single? The answer from most would be, “…because I don’t want to put up with S@*t!”. Its true, black women have zero tolerance for disrespect, I think this is a blessing and a curse. A blessing, because it raises the bar for men to fix up when approaching certain women and curse because people are always going to evolve at their own pace. Are relationships really built to last forever? The relationships that do last for 50 and 60 years plus are a minority, but maybe thats just because that generation are literally dying. If we look at relationships like houses, nobody wants an old house, but the oldest houses are the most valuable and I guess it depends on the foundation and the materials used. Some houses are built to last because of the quality that was put into it. My theory as to why my grandmas generation had long lasting marriages is because the women put up with things that todays generation wouldn’t. Most people would say that the women put up with the things their husband did because they had to, he was the bread winner. However my grandma was a barrister she had her own career and 4 children yet and still she put up with the stuff my grandad did that women today would tell you to kick him to the curb for. “As long as he comes home” she said, its a simple requirement but that was all she required of him. Is that the secret? To be simple in your demands and to be quiet? I’m a big advocate for reciprocity, I believe in fairness, I believe that respect goes both ways but maybe I have it wrong.
I don’t mean to sound pessimistic but the in the lens of life that I’m looking through I’m yet to see a couple that I can look at and say “Thats relationship goals right there” maybe its just me, if you know any examples please can you write it below in the comment box. Every relationship has its ups and downs and the best relationships are here to help us grow and evolve. Progress = Happiness, everything that grows or makes progress is healthy whether its your children, your career, even your hair and nails its all down to what you cultivate. Relationships are about cultivating healthy growth, while you transform and blossom into the best version of yourself. So maybe we need to also see the challenges of relationships as an opportunity for growth too. The people you encounter on this journey called life are living mirrors, they are here to teach you about yourself. Sometimes we don’t like what we see and blame the person instead of looking at ourselves. If you look in the mirror and see a spot on your face your not going to walk away from the mirror thinking “ewww look at the spot on that persons face” no you are going to do everything you can to remove that spot because its your own reflection, so why can’t we do that when life holds our friends or relationships as a mirror up to us. If you keep experiencing the same results, its time to get rid of that pimple.