2020 has definitely been a year to remember, hasn’t it? I remember people saying 2020 vision at the start of the year and my sister said no one saw the events that we have experienced this year AT ALL! I don’t need to go into detail about the global pandemic as everyone knows what has been going on. Everyone has had time to tune into the news since we’ve all been locked away in our houses. Its been a year of appreciation, appreciating the people around you (friends and family) and also the great out doors (parks). Its been a year of retribution many people have been exposed for who they really are and are paying the price. 2020 WAS taking prisoners and it has been relentless. However since my blog is about relationships how could this be my first (and probably only) blog of the year? So much has happened to me personally this year. At the beginning of the year I got married to my retro boo (read all about it here) in the Seychelles. It was a beautiful ceremony, just the two of us on 20.02.20, little did we know that most weddings this year would be following suit with the lack of guests. I’m a sagittarius so a destination wedding is typical of us centaurs, but I still would have preferred to have all my family and friends surrounding me on such a beautiful occasion. We still plan to do it one day, a family celebration. Shortly after our wedding and honeymoon wrapped in one, we both traveled to different countries and got stuck…and that was the end of 2020.
Just kidding…well for most it was. For me it was the year I had my first child. A beautiful baby girl named Sade who was born 21.08.20 exactly a year and a day to the date of rekindling with my retro boo. My contractions started on 20.08.20 and I honestly thought she would come on that day and boy were they painful. Although they were few and far between the pain still stopped me in my tracks, its a pain I’ve never experienced before and the joke is, now its past, its kind of hard to describe, but all I can remember is that they were painful. Maybe thats the function of baby brain, its to make you forget the pain, anyway I digress. I already had my birth plan in mind, I wanted to labor as much as possible at home and I wanted a water birth at the birthing centre. The contraction pain started to get closer together in the early hours of Friday morning (21st) I called the birthing centre to say that my contractions were about 10 mins apart but as I already knew they said to stay at home until they were 5 mins apart. After that phone call I got in the bath and literally within that same hour the contractions got closer and closer. So I told my mum and husband they got my hospital bag ready, my husband called an Uber, at this point the pain was so bad I threw up. All I said to my mum is “I’m gonna be sick” she ran to the bathroom and came back with a bucket just in time for me to throw up in, it was crazy but I love my mum for her quick thinking, she’s doesn’t just think quick though, she’s acts….which is amazing. Anyway the hospital/birthing is a 10-15 minute drive away, my mum couldn’t come with us due to the lockdown. The driver takes care to go over the humps slowly (bless him) its so nice how sensitive and caring strangers can be when you’re pregnant. We got to the hospital around 5am and my husband had to wait outside so the midwife could check if I was in established labour. I was 4 centimetres dilated, which was established labour and so he was allowed to come and join me after that. As soon as I got in the suite the midwife set the pool and I got in. The pain was so bad at this point I was given gas and air but I don’t believe it was working, perhaps I wasn’t doing it properly but I needed something stronger. At this point all the hypnobirthing techniques and breathing exercises that I had previously learned had all gone out the window and I was screaming for an epidural LOL. The midwife made it worse by saying that I’ll dilate half a centimetre every hour, so according to her calculations that was another 12 hours. My husband also thought that this was going to be a long process and he went downstairs to get a drink. I started grunting like a warthog as my body felt like it needed to push. The first push felt like a ballon was expanding and deflating and the midwife called this the membrane or something like that, she said she could see it and then she left the room. It was just me and a student nurse in the room I pushed again out came her head, I pushed again and her body came out in the water. My waters didn’t break, I didn’t even know if I was 10 centimetres dilated, I wasn’t coached by the midwives. God and my body coached me through and my baby was a healthy 6.89lb. She was rosy cheeked and I remember looking at her lil china doll face and saying “You’re so beautiful”. After she came out the midwives came back in and they’re like “Where’s your husband”? shortly after that he arrives wondering what just happened in the 10 minutes he was away.
It was crazy how my life change in the 6 months starting from August 2019. I lost my grandad on 11.11.19, he was 91 and I was very close to him, he was a constant positive male figure throughout my life and it was so hard to say goodbye to him. This year I learned about the cycle of life and transformation as one person transitions to the unknown another transitions from the unknown. My daughter is now 4 months old, she’s a happy baby, learning about the world and her surroundings everyday. She has discovered her hands recently so she’s grabbing everything and is fascinated with the sounds she is hearing. 2020 has brought me responsibility, theres a reason why I became a mum at 36, because I like to be footloose and fancy free, travelling here there and everywhere, but I’ve been doing that for the past 16 years or so and now its time to gain some responsibility of my own. My mum has been a great example of a mum and she’s also been the best GG (gorgeous grandma as she’s likes to be referred to) to Sade. I can honestly say that 2020 has been good to me. I’ve been blessed to have a husband that is loving, kind and spiritually inclined (lol that rhymes) and thats all I could really ask for. So is married life and motherhood what I expected? It has honestly exceeded my expectations, for one it is not easy and it is not a walk in the park, like my husband like to say it is, but its definitely worth it. I wouldn’t change it for the world.