I want to open up a dialogue about what makes a couple take the plunge into marriage. Is it love, family pressure, status, money, to build a family unit or all of the above? Marriage is a serious commitment, yet in todays society it is made light of, almost like a mockery. Even in the face of high divorce rates and disappointments in a loved one, why do so many of us still want to get married? Before marriage have you seriously considered the question Why do I want to get married? My answer would be because its God will or law for the building of a family unit. I’m assuming that the majority of females that read this post would already have their answer. It would be interesting to hear the male point of view on this, so please feel free to leave a comment below guys!
He who finds a wife, finds a good thing and obtains favour from the Lord. (Proverbs 18v22)
Notice how the proverb didn’t say ‘He who finds a woman?’ It states a ‘Wife’ and its not talking about somebody else’s wife either (lol). Also notice that a wife is from the Lord himself and that whoever has one obtains favour from God, she is a gift to you men so cherish her when you find your ‘Wife’. What makes a woman a wife? Proverbs 31 gives a good definition of what an “excellent wife” is. Its definitely a lot to live up to, but its for this very reason that the woman described is called an excellent wife.
- She is trust worthy – ‘The heart of he husband trusts her’ (proverbs 31v11)
- She is not lazy – She seeks wool and flax and works with willing hands (v13). She…does not eat the bread of idleness (v27)
- She is well travelled – …She brings her food from afar (v14)
- She can cook and take care of the household – …provides food for her household (v15)
- She invests – She considers a field and buys it (v16). She doesn’t procrastinate but actually goes ahead.
- Her beauty goes beyond her outward appearance – She dresses herself with strength…(v17). Strength and dignity are her clothing…(v25). Move over Prada, Gucci and Versace!
- She is an entrepreneur, she is clever – She perceives that her merchandise is profitable…(v18). She makes linen garments and sells them…(v24)
- She is compassionate and generous – She opens her hand to the poor and reaches out her hand to the needy (v20)
- She is creative and resourceful – She makes bed coverings for herself…(v22)
- She is a wise teacher – She opens her mouth with wisdom and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue (v26).
So ladies, how many of these boxes do you tick? Honestly! If you tick eight or more boxes and you are married, well done. If you tick eight or more and are still single, hold on, wait and think about what you may be heading for. I’ve come to the conclusion, that there is no formula when it comes to choosing a mate, no perfect mate! Things will not be a bed of roses once you get married, all problems will not disappear! If we use the bible as a reference point for marriage we can see that the relationships recorded are less than perfect. Adam and Eves situation was a mess, as soon as Adam got the chance he played the blame game, David killed a man for his wife, Solomon had 700 wives, Jacob had to work 14 years for two wives, Abraham lied and said his wife was his sister to save his own skin, Jobs wife hated his very breath once he had lost everything and Paul says “just stay single”.
This goes without saying but it is also important not to chose a mate on looks alone. For “Beauty recommends non to God, nor is it any proof of wisdom and goodness, but it has deceived many a man who has made his choice of wife by it. But the fear of God reigning in the heart; is the beauty of the soul; it last forever”.
I love the quote above I dont think its only relevant to men but females need to think about that too. Don’t look at the outward appearance but the heart. Really we should be asking ourselves What makes a good husband?, if we had such an extensive list I’m sure there wouldn’t be any disappointments in love. Like I said earlier I would love to get the male perspective on their reasons for marriage so please feel free to comment below.