What is your love language?

Wisdom is the principle thing; therefore get wisdom: and with all thy getting get understanding. (proverbs 4v7)

So I’ve been doing my research into the tangible ways men and women show love. After reading the book The 5 love languages by Gary Chapman I realised that perhaps males and females are misunderstood when it comes to loving their partner, because ultimately we love people the way we expect to be loved. If we took the time to understand one another, I believe this would yield many successful relationships. The five love languages are:

Quality time – physically being in someones presence, as well as communication via phone, text, Skype, etc

Receiving gifts – self explanatory! Who doesn’t like this?

Acts of service – helping out with household chores or everyday things that need doing, like paying bills, putting petrol in the car, cooking etc

Words of affirmation – encouraging words that reinforce your inner value not just complimenting your appearance, although it is good to hear

Physical touch – cuddles anyone?

When I did the survey which can be found here http://www.5lovelanguages.com. I found out that my love language is quality time. You don’t even really need to do the survey, all you need to do is ask yourself, which of the five hurts the most when you don’t receive it? I really enjoy spending time with the people I love, so quality time is a biggie for me and those who know me will see a very different person when that is not fulfilled…by the people I care about (lol). It’s not to say that the others are not important, that’s just the most important one for me! In fact I’ll put them in order of importance quality time, physical touch, giving gifts, acts of service and words of affirmation. I’ve actually come to learn over the years how important acts of service is, and it really should be second or maybe even first on the list. Simple things that men do like filling up the petrol in your car, taking out the rubbish, cooking, and washing up I have overlooked in previous relationships, when really it’s these simple things that are needed in a successful family unit. When you’ve lived with somebody for years it’s these mundane things that need to happen on a daily basis and it’s a blessing to have someone who will share in these responsibilities from time to time. The order of importance may evolve over time, as we grow and live life a little more. However at this age and stage quality time is my number one.

Whats your love language? Please share yours in the comment box below. In the meantime between time I’ll leave you with this poem.

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6 thoughts on “What is your love language?

  1. I totally conquer with you Kerisha, it’s not about gifts it’s about someone putting effort in giving you what you need someone taking you for a surprise picnic would mean a lot more to me than giving me a gift…. interestingly based on the test, I’m bilingual lol! Acts of service and physical touch are #1 which is literally true for me in reality equally second quality time and words of affirmation. Lastly receiving gifts….. so to all the men out there… women just want to be simply loved by just thoughts you put into things you do for us…..

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  2. A beautiful poem Kerisha, ‘Your warrior like exterior encases a precious heart in which you entrusted to me’ this resonates with me when thinking about my other half. Quality time is also top on my list and as we approach our 10 year anniversary with two young children is something we continue to strive to maintain in the relationship.

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  3. Lovely write up Kerisha! I believe strongly that true love is when we start loving others in the way they want to be loved not in the way we think they should be loved. Loving some folks is easy when our love languages are in similar order, but for others it requires a conscious effort to flip our order of love languages on its head to keep the relationship a happy one. Love is a conscious sacrifice either way 😊. My 5 love languages in order of importance are quality time, acts of service, physical touch, words of affirmation, giving gifts.

    “I am in you and you are in me because we are one. This is what is true love: you lay down your life for me, I will submit and respect you always….” my favourite part of your poem. There’s order in the kingdom of God -God is the head of men, men the head of the home, women to support the men and both raise Godly children. Men need to take their place in God’s order and act like Christ -‘loving (sacrificial love) the church, before the church loved HIM’. I will gladly submit to a man that is totally submitted to God 😊

    Liked by 1 person

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