I wish I were your mirror so that you always looked at me. (Ancient Egyptian poem)

The hieroglyph for love is a man bent over with a hoe tilling the land. He is, in essence, cultivating the land in order to cause the crop to grow and manifest. What does that mean to you? It tells me that love is sustained effort, its hard work, its laborious. “True love is the labour that is put into something or the effort you place into maintaining a relationship. The purpose of creating a result of fruit that feeds and sustains you. Love is growth, love is transformational'” (Wisdom Square).

Love is a myriad of things but do you need to love yourself first in order to get it? I’ll be the first to be controversial and say no. Let me explain! When I was a baby I took from my mum, I cried and I was fed, clothed, and picked up. I dribbled, vomited and pooed myself (yes I pooed myself so did you LOL) and my mum loved me all the same. I didn’t have to love myself, I wasn’t even aware of myself. Ask yourself this, how many times have you loved someone who in your friends and families eyes didn’t deserve it? How many times has someone loved you whether it was wanted or not? I bet everybody reading this can relate to at least one or two instances. I’m not saying that you shouldn’t love yourself I’m just pointing out the fact that sometimes you get love anyway and you don’t have to do anything but be. You can tell someone loves you by how they nourish you. How they help you to grow as an individual.

My mum has two massive Aloe Vera plants in her kitchen. It started out as one tiny plant and has now blossomed into at least 4 different plants, my mum has even given some away. That to me shows the true love by how she has nourished those plants. Even myself I can say that I am a product of my mother’s love, I know she is very proud of me by what her friends tell me.

All I’m saying is whatever you love, grows and if it doesn’t consider the type of nourishment you are giving it. Using the Aloe Vera plants as an example if my mum fed them rice I don’t think she would have gotten the same results. When it comes to your spouse, children, family and friends, consider what is their nourishment. Everyone has a different love language and its for you to study them to find out what that is. Yes, I said study. Some people quite happily study for a number of years at university to get more degrees than a thermometer (I stole that from TD Jakes) but are not willing to study the person they want to spend a lifetime with. All I’m saying is have the discernment to know who to give your sustained effort (true love) to, don’t get me wrong you can waste a number of years with the wrong people around you who are like weeds and just choke the good things that life has to offer you. Make it a resolution this year to know the difference between those who stay to feed the soil and those who come to grab the fruit.