Age Ain’t Nothing But a Number

Age ain’t nothing but a number. The first time I heard this expression I was about 11 years old listening to Aaliyah’s album which was coined with the same expression. During that time she must have been around 14/15 years old and this particular album was written and produced by R.Kelly. It was later revealed that Aaliyah had a relationship with the then 27 year old R.Kelly and in hindsight you can see why he wrote those lyrics. There was a 12 year age gap between the two of them and although she was underage at the time if she was say…25 it would not be a problem.


This post is about age boundaries. What are your age limits when it comes to dating and relationships? Does age even matter to you? I know quite a few women my age that would be comfortable dating a man well into his 50’s! Thats a bit of a stretch for me but I guess it depends on what he looked like at that age and whether or not he was a good father to his children (he’s bound to have children at that age right? If not it would certainly trigger a bunch of questions in my head). I would now say ten years older and maybe 3 years younger.

I’m particularly interested in women who date younger guys, I would love to hear your experiences, was there a big difference in how he expressed love for you? Did you ever question his maturity? Are you still in the relationship, and if not would you do it again? I once had a relationship with a guy that was 5 years younger than me. Initially he had a lot of energy and was really enthusiastic (as they all are LOL) towards being in a relationship with me, I was apprehensive but he didn’t mind the age difference in fact that was all he had experienced as he said he didn’t like younger girls. Many times I did question his maturity because of some of the things he was into but I didn’t know if that was because of his age or because he just had a general interest in those things, either way I tend to accept people as they are. Anyway that relationship did not end well. Would I date a younger guy again? I would prefer not to but never say never. However on the flip side I never seem to get into relationships with guys that are more than 3 years older than me, not on purpose…its just not been my experience.

There are plenty famous women who date, are in relationships or married to younger men. I mentioned in my last post that Denzel Washington’s wife is older than him. T.D. Jakes wife is older than him. Tina turner is 76 and her spouse Erwin Bach is 60 (16 year age gap). Madonna was 10 years older than Guy Ritchie. Whitney Houston was 8 years older than Bobby Brown, and the list goes on. It’s amazing how when women date younger men they are called a “Cougar” but when men do it, there’s nothing. Don’t get me wrong I prefer the man to be older than me but how come when you have those 20 or even 30 year age gaps between older men and younger women nobody says anything other than the WOMAN must be a gold digger!

age boundaries

Obviously the relationship between R.Kelly and Aaliyah was wrong and it was kept under wraps. No doubt his name has definitely been tarnished as that apparently wasn’t the last time he went for a younger girl. So its Cougar vs Paedophile but only if the girl is underage, once she is of age its Cougar vs ???

Why the double standard?




4 thoughts on “Age Ain’t Nothing But a Number

  1. Unfortunately this is a mans world and time and time again we see inequality for women – just in the same way a sexually fluid man gets a medal and a sexually fluid woman gets abuse.

    I have dated 6 years younger and I did notice little things that really did reflect the age gap. I prefer dating people my own age as
    I find I have more in common with that person and they’re usually in the same head space as me. That being said, I’ve known of many couples with big age gaps who have had a successful relationship. I think it really does depend on the people and as long as they are both two consenting adults, the age gap is nobodies concern but the couple in question

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  2. You know you write really deep thoughts and put em out interestingly.
    I just feel its very wrong if women believe and accept it’s a man’s world as a reality because a term has not been coined out to ascribe to a situation. Well there is something called Sugar Daddy that’s for older men that are into younger ladies with alarming age range. It’s prevalent in Africa almost a norm. Young girls age ranging between 18-24 would prefer a man in his late 30’s to early 40’s. The lady I last dated, I was 2 years older. Unfortunately it ended. She is now dated a man 13 years older, when I asked her why, she said, there was this ambience of security older men offered, I feel it was financially based.
    There are also some biological reasons put out why it’s preferably if the man is atleast 10 years older than the woman, it’s said due to child birth women age quicker than mens cientifically not proven but realistically true. So if she is way younger then it would not appear like she is older after she is done with child birth.
    In Africa the society is against older women to young men unless it’s a gigolo kinda affair which it still frowns at but they know it’s a hustler’s choice.
    Lately for me, ladies older than me strike a good cord, they are matured and focused on building friendship, challenge is Lionel Richie might be her favourite artist but you grew to like the John Legend kinda music. While Tupac is her man, u feeling Eminem. Those difference can create a gulf
    Brilliant piece. Love it

    Liked by 2 people

  3. What an insightful article. To be honest, these women are definitely paving the way for the new dating scene and I believe that most men in their 20s are really intrigued by dating an older woman.
    Chilli and Usher were a great example. Unfortunately, we all know how that ended.
    Truth be told, most of the younger men will find it an attractive feature, but if they can be so enthralled by a woman’s age, then it is likely that they will simply be turned on by any hot looking female who is a bit older than them, instead of her maturity.
    In addition , when and if that guy decides he wants children, he may look elsewhere.
    Having said that, I’ve dated younger guys and they tend to be more attentive and feel they have a point to prove, which is normally “I’m younger, but I’m better than any older guy you’ve been with”…..Hmmmm…
    I wouldn’t rule it out, but my preference is a 5 year radius.
    2 or 3 below, but I don’t want to be more than 6 years older…..stealing him of his ‘sowing his oats’ days!

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  4. Hi, is age nothing but a number…..yes. I’m 54 and have dated men 8yrs and basically just younger than me. To tell the truth they think I look 10-15yrs younger. Concerning maturity sometimes it can have either sexual, or intellectual difficulties, not being on the same page with certain things. I dont think the gap has got anything to do with it, I believe it’s the upbringing, what your exposed to and what influences you have been around in life that determines where your at. Were they more active? Not really, as i kept up with most things loool! I just felt they lacked in life experiences. would I do it again… b honest mayb not? Life is all an experience with lessons to b learned.

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