X-Men

To all the boys I’ve loved before, how did I not know you were a mutant from the beginning? So great was your disguise that I didn’t recognise you slowly mutating before my very eyes. Maybe it was the rose coloured glasses that kept me from seeing your true colours, maybe it was inexperience. One guy, we’ll call him Gambit because he was a magician, a master of tricks, managed to keep my attention for a very long time even though I knew he was a trickster I still was hypnotised with his illusion of a relationship. Although he never revealed all his cards he was skilled at hitting me with one at a time, you know…just enough to keep you holding on. Another ex, we’ll call him Beast, (because he would switch from nice guy to bad guy at the drop of a hat) lasted for only a short amount of time, he’s actually married with children now and I always wonder to myself if his wife managed to reform him or he grew out of it. Maybe he’s still the same…who knows? But do you ever find yourself thinking about past relationship experiences? And when you find a good one do you think look at me now or do you just keep it moving?

Today I heard one of my colleagues at work explain real vs counterfeit money, after having fake money in her possession (by accident!) she was almost thrown in jail in Dubai. She was told that the only way to recognise fake money is to study the real thing. I think that concept should be applied to relationships. Often times we walk into relationships blind and not really expecting much, I’ll hold my hand up to that because sometimes when you have too much expectations you end up being disappointed. However you must study the real thing. How do you find the real? Think about your longest relationship and think about why it worked. There must have been some qualities about that person that keep you sticking around for so long. I would say think of other people’s relationships but no one really knows what goes on in each persons lives unless it is revealed to you by them, and it may not be what you want. If you’ve never had a relationship then ask one of you’re closest friends or family members about their best longest relationship, maybe they’re still with that person now.

However sometimes you stumble upon a good match, someone who fits you well, someone you’re comfortable with, someone who annoys the hell out of you but their good character allows you to see beyond that, someone who accepts you for who you are even when you annoy them, someone who is truly willing to learn about you from the inside out. The bible says a good name is more desirable than great riches to be esteemed better than silver or  gold (proverbs 22v1). On top of everything else be glad when you hear other people say good things about your other half, it acts as a testament to why you’re with them in the first place.

Not all of my ex’s are mutants (LOL, I have to laugh at that description as it’s the only way I can describe such a drastic alteration of character) sometimes you break up, just because you need space and time to sort out your differences. I know many a relationship that have the push/pull effect on each other (on and off relationships), one underlying theme about all of them is that the other person has something that you miss and you can’t get enough of. If that is you, then I guess the cliche is correct, If you love something, let it go and if it comes back its yours…thats how you know (*singing Christina Aguilera). Know what though? That you’re two dysfunctional beings? That nobodies perfect? or that circumstances will not keep you apart? As usual this is another one of my rants to provoke a healthy discussion. Maybe we’re all mutants…just from the mere fact that our minds are constantly changing and evolving. Let me be the first to admit it…my name is Kerisha and I’m a butterfly.

Monarch-Butterfly

 

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10 thoughts on “X-Men

  1. Amazing. I love the way you express your ideas and I identify myself to your posts so much. Please keep doing what you do. We are all mutants I think and that would be because we still don’t truly know what we want. Maybe after finding that out, we’ll be certain of things. God bless😊😊

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Hi Kerisha,very interesting read. I think as a woman not really getting the right balance in a heterosexual relationship is by not having a good Male role model (father), who sets the first standard to follow.

    If we never had that, that may cause us alot of trial and error through our life.

    No man, or women are perfect, expecially as we r all born into sin.

    The only person who can give us a true and real description of a real man and gentleman is Jesus.

    Let us learn His ways in order to detect COUNTERFEITS. Let us not excuse ourselves and ask Him to strip us of things that may get in the way of us not being with our desired match.

    Until then guys enjoy your singleness.

    Bless

    Liked by 2 people

  3. Liking your blog – very thought provoking!

    I think now that nobody is good or bad as such, people are just motivated by different things. I’m not great at relationships, Iv had a poor role model with my parents stormy marriage and thus often my relationships can only be described as “stormy” too. Iv started out with amazing and then seem to be able to morph the nicest man into the most horrid mutant. Even my husband! (Though he’s morphed back and forth through us seperating and reconnecting through the years) Since reading books like “The Rules” and “Men are from Mars” I can kind of understand how I do this. Someone once told me to treat men how you treat a child – ignore the bad and praise the good, and then watch them be motivated to be better as a partner. I think there’s something to that now as Iv certainly experienced how pointing out the bad serves to increase it rather than stop it.

    I’m sure the woman who went on to marry my ex-fiancée was probably able to worship/admire him far more than I could ever – and that’s simply the reason why we weren’t right. I couldn’t view him as the Prince Charming he wanted to be. He couldn’t view me as the Princess I wanted to be.

    I think it’s just a matter of how you view someone – in many ways you create the reality you experience. There’s another book somewhere “why any relationship you have will only be as good as the one you have now” that made sense too, something about hopping to different people but following the same destructive patterns. Changing our own patterns changes our relationships (from the inside of us to the external evidence)

    My 2pence anyhow! 😊 Off to read some more x

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks Jess. I truly believe that our parents are our first teachers and it’s a case of monkey see monkey do. My parents are not married. It’s an interesting concept about praising the good, maybe that’s where I’ve been going wrong…as a school teacher if a child does something wrong I highlight it and often times they thank me for it, because unfortunately some of their parents don’t care what they do and they act out for attention. It hasn’t worked for the men I’ve been with though LOL, I will see how that works. I’ve read The Rules and Men are from Mars…that last book you mentioned seems interesting I will give it a read. Thanks X

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  4. Maybe I should have said small child, unless it’s dangerous or needs immediate intervention as its affecting someone else I try to somewhat ignore the bad as my son loves attention and doesn’t care how gets it really, as long as he gets it – so teaching him he gets it more through behaving well and less through being naughty seems to work to increase the good.

    I think with men in relationships they hate being critiscized and appreciate their faults being left unacknowledged but it’s nice to know how you made someone happy, so you can do more of that – and feel successful x

    Like

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