Unfinished Business

Sometimes on/off relationships can feel like a never ending story. The last break up was bad and just when you are starting to get out of the darkness and you’re happy again…BAM! They’re back like Arnold Schwarzenegger. The first and maybe second break up feels devastating and you feel like its the end for good. After the third and fourth you may be thinking will I be supported by my friends if I take them back? After the eighth to tenth time you probably won’t even bother to tell anyone. Its also after the tenth time that your intuition is super sharp, you just know whether you are walking away for good or that this is yet again…unfinished business. It’s funny because sometimes you can be in a relationship and they do one small thing and thats it for you, they’ve crossed the line and you end it with no second chances. Then there is that one that just seems to get away with murder and still gets a million chances.

The reconciliation period is where the excitement comes from, the possibility of a new and improved, transformed relationship overrides all of the wrong doings and mistakes of the past, its a clean slate. In some cases a transformation is exactly what it is and you get a happy ending, but for others its yet again…unfinished business. Where to draw the line, and should there even be a line drawn (more like the great wall of China should be built) is the question. Some of the most annoying on/off relationships have been Sam and Ron from Jersey Shore, Stevie J and Joseline Hernandez from Love and Hip Hop, and the Chris Brown, Rihanna and Karreche Tran love triangle (I know I watch trash TV…don’t judge me). Although I do believe they are partly (ok hugely) doing it for the publicity, the average relationships today are actually like this.

I wrote a post last week about the year 2017 being the year of new beginnings, so if you find that your relationship has taken a dramatic turn for the better its probably down to the fact that this year is the beginning of a new cycle. If your relationship feels the same as it always has, it probably is. Remember that the toxic people in your life can only come back as many times as you let them. I’ve was devastated after all my failed relationships thinking that I had wasted those years, but the comfort comes when I realise that nothing is by accident and the people in our lives are here to either teach us something or be taught by us, once the lesson is learnt you move on or the relationship transforms into something else. In the American education system if you failed the academic year you would repeat it. Imagine being a teenager with a bunch of 6th graders. I can only imagine how humiliating that must feel. How many of us are adults but still learning the lessons of children? Are you that adult repeating the same class in the school of life? This year for me is all about releasing the past, and moving forward with optimism. Healthy relationships will go through their own cycles, nothing stays the same forever, only the rebirth of an existing love.


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