Domestic Violence against Men

I was confused when I heard the news that two in five men are left battered and bruised when it comes to domestic violence. I’m not trying to say that men are not human and that they don’t feel, but are you for real? Clearly I’m not the only one who thinks its absurd since men who are abused by their partners are often ignored. This is harsh and I do feel sorry for the men out there that feel completely helpless against a woman, because there are some crazy females out there. However just writing the sentence above makes me cringe (men…completely helpless against a woman), it’s like an oxymoron. Its only because the synonyms that go with the word Man (for me) are BIG and STRONG and PROTECTOR.

Although 60% of domestic violence victims are women, domestic violence cases towards men are not really taken seriously. I do feel it for men because in some ways they have the weight of the world on their shoulders, but I’m just curious to know how they would end up in a situation like that? Not only that but why do they stay in situations like that. I get that women are super emotional and that its easier to get into our psyche and break us down from the inside out (Have you ever seen a film called Murdered by Boyfriend?, It’s a really sad example of how this works), but most men are not wired like that, or at least they don’t show it. The more I get to study men the more I realise how sensitive most of them are, deep down they are waiting for that special woman they can show their vulnerable side to, but unfortunately that side of them is often revealed to the wrong woman. As a result men keep up the pretence that everything is ok and that they don’t feel a thing.

Men are reluctant to say that they have been abused by a female because it seems unmanly and weak, and I have to admit it kinda is…I’m sorry for being so blatantly honest but if you can’t protect yourself who’s gonna protect us? (Or me, maybe I speak for myself here), yes I know it is incredibly insensitive and selfish of me to say, but it’s only the opinion of one person out of billions. Don’t get me wrong I do not condone domestic violence to either sex and I feel that if a woman hits a man first she should be prepared to feel the blows in return, if the man restrains her and doesn’t hit back she’s extremely lucky. Women shouldn’t hit men full stop. They have feelings too. However women can be crafty and may not use their fists but will literally have something cooking. Like Al Greens girlfriend, Mary Woodson she became upset when Al Green refused to marry her (even though she was already married). One evening while Al Green was taking a shower, Woodson was heating up some grits. She then took that same pot of grits and doused Green while he was in the shower, causing severe burns. She then committed suicide immediately after. As serious as this event was, people still had the nerve to make jokes afterwards, calling Al Green, Al Grits (smh). That’s just one tragic example, and in his case I don’t see it as unmanly or weak because he was caught off guard, and who knows what he would have done to her after if she hadn’t killed herself.

If you’re a man who’s been a victim of domestic violence or know someone who has, perhaps you could share your story, so that I can have a deeper understanding.

Thanks x

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6 thoughts on “Domestic Violence against Men

  1. Oh the places I could go with this. I was indeed part of a relationship of this nature. It’s not that a man can’t defend himself, I did many many many times. But a woman is just as capable of wielding a knife or whatever else is within arm’s reach. And it’s not just physical violence that is possible, but has lighting and mental abuse as well. Alcohol and drugs can fuel a woman just as easily a man, I’ve got the scars to prove it. All women are not meek helpless 5’5″ humans. When you have a glass ashtray bouncing off your face, then you’ll know anything is possible. And I went to jail for domestic abuse, after I called the police. It takes two to tango, but try defending yourself to a female judge as the years flow from a woman accusing you of domestic assault. I didn’t have a chance. I could go on and on, but believe me, it is not only possible, but I’m positive it happens thousands of times more than any man will admit

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    1. Oh wow, Rob thank you so much for sharing that. I know men have it hard with the justice system when up against a woman, I am so sorry to hear about that and I hope that you are out of that situation now. Hopefully the vicious cycle won’t continue…

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      1. Yes, after staying in it for 2 years longer than I should have, the situation–which I was part of as well–ended when I went to jail. It also resulted in my being almost 9 months sober! So good came out of it in the end.

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      2. Oh, and it brought me back to writing poetry and my recovery blog, so life is turning out better than ever. Thank you for your concern.

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